A Return

It has officially been over five months since my last post.  Back on March 21, I agreed to post once a week, a goal which lasted about five weeks.  I’ve been wanting to revisit this forum, wanting to write some new thoughts, but I’ve stopped myself several times.  I have a certain perfectionistic personality trait that kept telling me that I could only come back if I could tie up all of the loose ends, if I could tell some grand narrative to close the gap I’ve created over the last five months.  Finally, after 20+ weeks, I’ve decided to ignore that impulse, and simply approach this post humbly and quietly.

I do plan on continuing my discussion of the 12-steps.  I suppose, in some ways my elongated absence is rather apropos, as Step 5 (the post that never came) is perhaps the biggest, most terrifying step in the process of recovery.

I sincerely appreciate all of the attention this blog has been getting, and I am humbled by its popularity.  I feel overwhelmed, at times, by the sense of responsibility that popularity instills, but I do want to continue to explore, express, and experience the Gospel in whatever ways I can.

Another reason I’ve been absent is that I’ve been grappling with some desires to treat some more “controversial” (for lack of a better word) topics here.  Being an academic, I often find myself exploring things to an exhaustive end, constantly analyzing everything to death.  I still haven’t decided either way as to those more “controversial” topics, but, as with everything, I need to not let those hangups keep me from moving forward.  I’ve done that too much already.

So, I ask you all to forgive me for my absence, and forgive me for what might have seemed liked ambivalence.  It wasn’t.  I’ve been thinking about this forum a lot.  I’ve recognized a huge slump in my “spirituality” lately, and I know that returning to this discussion (among other things) will help me find my spiritual bearings.

Thanks for your patience.

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